i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
