If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
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