Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize
