he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
No I am not eating basil off your cock
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Randomize