This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Randomize