So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
