ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
