Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Randomize
