Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
