He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
