So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
