"it" just moved
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
His nipple licking is glorious
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