...so i touched it.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
