Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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