And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
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