apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
