In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
