How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
