Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
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