She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
