Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
