you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I would ride that face into the sunset
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
