My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
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