Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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