i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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