I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
