If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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