We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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