Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
