just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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