Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
