i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
