C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
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