After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
