I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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