Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Randomize