I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
