Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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