he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
