I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
