called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
