I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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