Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Randomize
