I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Randomize
