Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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