No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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