I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Randomize
