I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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