Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize