Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
