Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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