Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Randomize
