I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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