I want to have your abortion
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
