we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize