Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Randomize
