Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
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