i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
