Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
