hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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