Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Randomize
