i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
