I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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